Imam Hamza Bear Dispatch  1/16/2009

Asalamalakum my future Shahids! Long was I away urging our brothers in the West to support the infidel Obama, for he shall bring our mujahideen in Gitmo to American shores, praise Allah!

They will get American lawyers and perhaps even American taxpayer money with which we can wage Jihad against them with their own dollars, is not Allah just?

Please continue with the “Zionists eating babies” protests my brothers, for it was kind of the Neo-Nazi’s to teach us these techniques.

While detained in Gitmo, aside from their strange bathing techniques, I was able to think up a  business. We created the Allah Snackbar. It is made of 100% Zionist flesh, and can be found in fine Halal candy shops everywhere.

I am sad to note the promising tax monster Mayor Michael Bloomberg has sipped from the well of Zionism. For he has not toed the proper line we feed western liberals about “proportionate response” (we don’t know what it means either, but the liberals use it against our foes, so keep it going) so this does not bode well for him.

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Death Fatwa of The Week

This weeks Fatwa is issued against all who work for The Rude News. Any outfit run by a dog is worthy of death! Yet this vile beast has stalked western Jihadi blogger Samir Khan and now he publishes a video that ridicules our love of children. 72 virgins, who are not auctioning their virginity, await he who delivers the dog’s head to me.

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Praise to Allies in Western Disguise

Allah in his most merciful please bless the Huffington Post. No group of westerners has worked harder to bring about the fall of America. If there is a story that can be spun to hurt America, it will be found here. For there they celebrate military defeat, the loss of jobs, and never, ever do they strike at the Jihad, for they know their place.

Here also, the kafirs continue the western tradition of men not acting as real men. I am always amazed at the androgynous quality of modern western men with their groomed lady eyebrows and their little space-cars. So three cheers for the Huffington Post, who will work even harder for their dream President.

Allahu Ackbar!

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Need a Jihadi Lawyer? Praise Allah and start the litigation!

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Mujahideen of the Week

The Mujahideen of the week is all of you who protested Israel’s occupation of land previously stolen by Muslims. You have all done well in humiliating the kaifrs in their own homelands my brothers. Please continue to act boldly, for no western man has the courage to stop you. They are afraid of ruining their manicures or spilling their domed flavored coffees. Ha ha! When I was young, there were leaders like Reagan to fear, Americans were proud, and we could not even fly an Israeli flag with a swastika on it because a kaifr would shout us down. Those days are long over my brothers, for the western man has been castrated by modernity and metro-sexuality.

Now we can malign all manner of infidels with impunity, for we have inspired such fear. The kafir have turned on the crusader Bush, so his kind will never threaten us again.

Look at the world’s response to Mumbai. paralyzed with fear, we shall visit it upon them all 1,000 fold, for their inability to even deal with our Pakistani supporters is telling.

Allahu Ackbar and continue the Jihad my brothers, the future is bright for us…

Filed under: Wisdom of the Ages by admin