Ten Conservative Women They’d Like To Hate F**k

Originally published on Jun 7, 2009

What is a “hate f**k?” anyway? It sounds like something that virgins talk about.

What can you say? Some kids didn’t get enough attention when they were little.

A young gentleman by the name of Sir Guy Cimbalo opined:

“…there is a way to reach across the aisle without letting principles fall by the wayside. We speak, naturally, of the hate f**k*. We may despise everything these women represent, but goddammit they’re hot. Let the healing begin.”

The left and the right have come down on Guy Cimbalo.

Playboy took the article down, because they realized their failure.

(Look, you can say whatever you want, but those are the thoughts of a budding serial killer)

Now the pictures below, are strictly so that the readers may make a more informed opinion about the subjects covered in this cultural tour de force. Mr. Cimbalo’s ability to pick hot conservo-babes shall be evaluated at the conclusion of the leering. study.

The list, with visual aids:

1. Michelle Malkin – Sarah Palin would have been the obvious choice these days, but the Divine Misses M radiates with undeniable hotness. There is a fetishism that pervades her critics as well. One dude even wrote a whole article about molesting her, maybe it was just a hate f**k he had in mind. (+1)

(UPDATE: Matt Taibbi’s post was taken down at trueslant.com because he is coward and a liability in today’s faux campaign against radio talk show hosts. We linked to the cached version)

2. Megyn Kelly – This has got to be the hottest lawyer in the world. She is pictured above with Julie Banderas, who is a Fox news fox as well. (+1)

3. Mary Katharine Ham – Very Pretty. Her opponents have tried to reduce her to a cupcake because of her sweet good looks. (+1)

4. Amanda Carpenter – She said somewhere that she was afraid this kind of stuff would happen to her. (-1)

5. Elisabeth Hasselbeck – An obvious pick, she is a celeb. Celebs are not pundits, writers or policy junkies. Elisabeth is just dandy, but she is not really conservaitve torchbearer. (-1)

6. Dana Perino – Impressive. A good pick that’s not so obvious. An under the radar babe. (+1)

7. Laura Ingraham – Especially when she is on Fox. There is a makeup artist there who makes this woman look so good when she guest hosts for BIll O’. Guy was watching some Fox to put her on this list. (+1)

8. Pamela Geller – Pam is smokin’. Pam will never look bad. When she is old, she will be a hot old lady. Genetically gifted. (+1)

9. Michele Bachmann – Another good and not so obvious pick. At first TRN declared she may not be top ten, but the sensationalist creationist has grown on us.  (+1)

Now, the first nine were on track, but Peggy Noonan?

10. Peggy Noonan – Get the f**k out of here.

We stand by it.

Look Peg is a pretty, even beautiful, but Guy obviously has the Freudian mommy-sex thing going on in his brain box. (-2. There are far better choices on the right)

So guy scored six out of ten, a shameful performance for someone who would write in Playboy. (Peggy Noonan? Damn… )

Here are some gems he passed up:

How about Gretchen Carlson? She is a curvy delight and a former Miss USA.

What about Sarah Palin? She should be #1.

Meghan McCain? I mean she is a dork, but she’s damn sight better than Noonan. She is always attacking conservatives so Guy should love her. Plus she is Pro-sex. (Who the hell is anti-sex?)

E.D. Hill? E.D. Sure was cute.

Ann Coulter? (Most of you have pulled your monkey to Ann, STFU)

There are so many ultra hot conservo-babes.

Now, for the hot liberal chicks outside of Hollywood, or:

Chicks Who Are Starving For Sex With Men Who Don’t Cry Afterwards

1. Kirsten Powers – She is hot. There is a rumor that her husband is a Republican. We got emails that said she was not married to a Repub.

Who cares? The pic goes up.

2. Arianna Huffington – Married an actual Republican, stole his money and turned him gay. Has emotional issues.

Your prayers are encouraged.

3. Elizabeth Kucinich – Pretty, but man does she earn her keep. She has to see Dennis naked.

4. Lara Schwartz – Nice looking. Pic was sent in with no links. Some kind of lawyer? Any assistance is appreciated.

5. Umm… Helen… Helen Thomas. – “Heh heh heh. Come inside my pretties…”

That’s pretty much it for lefty chicks outside of Hollywood. Any mail-ins or mentions of others are appreciated… for purposes of this study of course.

TRN trolls wanted these babes up there:

Andrea Tantaros – steadfasthalfelf wrote; “What about Andrea Tantaros? *swoon* lol”

Swoon indeed.

S.E. Cupp was also mentioned, and we must say, she is awfully cute. Here’s a vid:

Hey Guy, would you like to see the women in your family “hate f**ked?”

Would you like to read about your wife getting “hate f**ked?”

No Sheeples Here (linked to archive as No Sheeps blog has left the net) took Playboy by the ears and made the bunny cry.

The bunny takes a hatefu*king from it's critics

Here is Guy Cimbalo, featuring praise for himself on some blog. The praise is from Playboy magazine.