Those Wicked Childhood Games.
This principal, Ms. Hooker, has decided playing tag has become too aggressive. This kind of thing is going on more and more these days, and I am wondering why you wimpy parents out there don’t call your schools and demand this kind of PC garbage stops?
Games to be banned in American public schools;
Tag - ”Tag” as the children call it, is really about ostracizing someone who is different. It is a hyper-aggressive game intended on making the “it” feel outcast. The “it” then lashes out at all of its oppressors, trying to drag one them down to the “it’s” level. Several studies have come to the conclusion that Tag’s rules are disturbingly similar to the tarring and feathering practiced some 230 years ago. This has lead to the conclusion that Tag is aggressive and racist, because tar is black. Also, Tag focuses on individuality and self reliance, which are values that are counter the collectivist agenda put forth by the Peoples Party of Public Re-Education.
Dodge Ball - The game of “Dodgeball” should be renamed “Warballs.” The game is set up into an initial ethnic divide. The “Us” race vs. the “Them” race. The game’s objective is to them ethnically cleanse the gym of the other race. Children do so buy hurling brightly colored spherical missiles called “balls,”(We were unsure what balls were, as we have not seen any in public education since forty years ago.) at each other to score “kills.”
Studies show that a “kill” results in fate worse than actual death. The “killed” child must first deal with the humiliation of failure. Then the ostracism of sitting out the rest of the game. The result of watching the hyper-aggressive remaining players still having fun, results in class envy. This contributes to poor self-esteem which may make the child work harder next time. It is against the law for children to work.
Hide and Seek - Hide and Seek, sometimes referred to as “Hide-n-seek,” is a deplorable game created by the CIA to encourage future espionage agents who will go abroad and foment insurrection against Communist and Islamic regimes. The “it” returns in a new incarnation, this time to terrorize the “hiders.” It is similar to “Tag” but with the twist of hunter-gatherer thrown in. The “it” counts to an agreed upon number and the other children hide themselves from view. The “it” must then hunt down and strike at least one “hider.” The “hider” then becomes the new “it” and the feelings of failure and poor self-esteem return.
Studies have shown that “Hide and Seek” fosters a group-think mentality where children hide from someone who is “different.” In fact, historical record shows that this game is making light of the Underground Railroad and the struggle of slaves who were hunted down after escaping captivity. Therefore, it has been proven that this game is inherently racist.
Tug of War - No childhood game is more jingoistic than the aptly named “Tug of War.” This game again brings ethnic cleansing to the forefront of childhood playtime. The “Us” race must pull the “Them” race forward into a mud puddle. The winner is determined when the other side either surrenders or is pulled into the mud. This game favors hyper-aggressive males and fat children, therefore promoting machismo, bad eating habits and hurting girl’s self-esteem at the same time. Actual physical resistance is transferred via a rope-device so that the losing side will feel inferior.
Studies have shown that losing sides in ”Tug of War” suffer prolonged bouts of self-doubt and second guessing. A heavy burden of expectation is placed on the “anchor” position, which is usually reserved for the fattest children. All the distasteful components of individuality, personal responsibility and even “sacrifice” are magnified and strengthened by this activity. The People Party of Public Re-Education frowns upon these practices, as they tend to lead to desires for “free markets” and “deregulation.”
(WARNING: Rant Ahead! Click at your own risk!)
