Let’s get that !*&#% oil!

Yes! The North Pole is melting! Now the seas will rise, the sky will rain blood, house pets will rise up and rape their masters…

Actually, nothing much will happen. A few more issues of science magazines will get sold, National Geographic and The Weather Channel will get a tiny ratings bump and few more useless grants will be passed out to people who are terrified of real jobs.

Hopefully, we will suck the oil out before the Russians do.