Muahhahaha! I laugh evilly as my Republi-minions dominate the land, stealing from the poor to buy cigars and play golf.
We all met together under the Owl Statue at the Bohemian Grove and had a massive orgy in piles of gold, like scrooge McDuck.
John Boehner’s orangeness rubbed off on many people. Bizarre.
After the the festivities, we watched the returns as Americans everywhere turned out good Democrats in favor of evil Republicans.
Darth Vader called to congratulate us and we finished the evening laughing at pictures of disfigured infants.
“They will never get past pre-existing conditions now! Bwahahahahaha!”
The American people were fooled even though MSNBC, Bill Maher, The Huffington Post, Jon Stewart and some guy who has a job making fun of Bill O’Reilly around the clock, told them the real truth.
Hahaha! Did they not know the MILF factor of the Palin machine would carry the day? The hottest thing on lefty TV is a girl who looks like a pretty boy.
So we celebrate here on the darkside, as we have tricked millions of Americans into voting against their lifeforce.