2008 May | The Rude News

Imam Hamza Bear Dispatch 5/30/2008

Angela Merkel of Germany seeks to stop Islam from being imported. Does she not know her place as a woman?
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Some Americans are calling for Sarah Palin to be VP to the kafir hero McCain. This would be most troublesome for our brother who shall not be named. What is it with the infidels and their meddling [...]

Mujahideen of the Week 5/30/2008

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the ultimate Mujahideen. He is building nuclear weapons right under the nose of the U.N. Those kafir rats cannot bring themselves to admit how much they have failed their western allies. Soon Mahmoud will launch his master-plan and the west will fall to its knees, begging for mercy from Allah. Allahu Ackbar!

Praise to Allies in Western Disguise 5/30/2008

The lovely kafir Rachael Ray has unwittingly promoted our Intifada against the Zionist dogs. By teaming up with our Jihadists in disguise at Urban Outfitters, she has helped to condition the minds of American youth. All praise to Allah and praise to Rachael for her nifty 30 minute meals.

Death Fatwa of the Week 5/30/2008

A Death Fatwa is issued against The Jawa Report. These desert bandits have troubled us for too long now. Several of Imam Hamza Bears films have been shutdown by this golden machine man they send against us.
May the glory of Allah guide your hands my brothers. We must go Janjaweed on these Jawa.

Coffee Keffiyeh, Rachael Ray & Hate Couture

 
The Great Coffee Keffiyeh Caper has scandalized the Media. (Atlas was out in front. Give props to the Conservo-babe)
Rachael Ray has been scandalized by an activist football-bat stylist who thought she would look cute in this summers Intifada-lite Keffiyeh. America did not see it that way. Keith Olberman properly scolded us, but the ad still came [...]

Anti-Bush Books & Scott McClellan

So Uncle George funds from the top again. When I was little, I thought Cobra Commander only existed on TV. How could I have known has was a Greek Moneychanger? 
Wittle Scotty Mac got Uncle Georgie to fwund his wittle bookie wookie.
(Saw it first on Dread Pundit and then LGF) Go there and get edumacated!
I am now [...]

Se Vita Privare GOP

It means suicide by taking poison.
How do you poison the GOP elephant? With liberalism. American left-wing Liberalism is the kryptonite of the American Dream.
The GOP has slowly been taking doses of liberalism to “appeal to the middle.” They were the rational republicans, the bi-partisan get-a-long gang that ushered Democrats right back into Congress in 2006.
Spineless failures of manhood [...]

Why Vote 2008?

Have you seen this email floating around? It asks why we are bothering with an election for 2008.
On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer.
On the other side, you have a war hero [...]

Memo From Osama

This is taken from Last of the Few, a website that has no rival in excellence. Go check it out… 
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To: All Al Qaeda FightersFrom: Osama bin Laden
Subject: The Cave (Do Not Distribute Outside the Organization).
Hi guys. We’ve all been putting in long hours recently but we’ve really come together as a group and I love that! However, while [...]

The Wisdom Of Thomas Sowell

Thomas Sowell is one of the wisest writers today. Actually, he of the wisest ever. (Here is his Townhall archive)

Scott McClellan Cashes In With Liberals

Scott McClellan is cashing in on the tired “Bush lied” bandwagon.
He is publishing a book that recycles and affirms the most gratuitous assertions ever made about a President. Scott will have money rolling in soon. Do not be surprised to find this rhino scavenger appearing as the new David Brock. 
Form the phony stories of Iraq war [...]

The Obaminable Showman…

People are ascribing a level of intelligence to Barack Obama, that simply does not exist. This guy has gaffed so much, I swear he is studying the George W. Bush “Public Speaking Strategery” manual. Except Barack’s gaffes are worse. They are not “working hard to put food on your family” funny nor are they “I have [...]

Memorial Day 5/26/2008

Imam Hamza Bear Dispatch 5/23/08

 
The lady kafir at Atlas Shrugs has highlighted our ingenious plan of hiding rockets in children’s schoolyards. Does she not know that hiding behind children is a tradition of the Islamic warrior?
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All praise to Doudou Diene, who will assail the great satan as racist! The U.N. now takes plays right out of apostate Obama’s playbook. [...]

Mujahideen of the Week 5/23/08

 
Our Mujahideen of the Week is Samir Khan of Charlotte, NC. Samir lives with his parents on a golf course in an upper middle class neigborhood, where he runs the greatest western Jihad website. We have recieved many recruits who were called to Jihad through the website. Praise Allah for such brave little Mujahideen.

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